“Stop telling women they can have everything without sacrificing anything,” Amy Westervelt says in a recent article in the Huffington Post.
This resonated with me. Most days, this mom feels like a hot mess.
Sure, my Pinterest board is full of the great intentions I have for myself. Cute outfits, workout ideas and inspiring quotes. But most days look more like a sloppily executed relay race fueled by Diet Coke.
And my hair is still wet because I didn’t blow dry it.
No matter how fast I move or how much I do, somehow I’m still behind.
“Here’s the truth: You want to have a career and kids? You totally can, but both will suffer. You will never feel like you are devoting enough time to either. You will never feel like you are good enough at either.”
And I love Amy’s proclamation about women being told to lean in: “Instead of changing the systems, we tell women to lean in. Because of course, it’s our fault for not taking initiative. Fuck you. I’m leaning so far in I’m falling flat on my face.”
That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking.
Has it always been this way? The problem solver in me keeps thinking, ‘There’s got to be a better way.’ What do you other parents do to keep it together and feel more contained?
I haven’t cracked the code and some days are more “together” than others, but that’s just how life is (you parents of two or more are probably laughing your asses off, saying, “Just wait.” I get it.).
We’re all doing the best we can and that has to count for something. But I have to agree with Amy that, sometimes, “having it all” does kind of suck.